With the old year meeting it’s end and the new year bringing us renewed hope for the future, I thought it is a good time to do some soul searching. The fact that you are reading this, means you and I are on the same path, I’m glad I’m not alone! I’m not one for new year resolutions. I believe most of us realised by now they mostly fail within the first week. Therefore, instead of new year resolutions, I decided to rather answer (truthfully) a few soul searching questions, and try to implement the answers in a suitable way.
This is not a question, but rather an important result of the answers to the questions. At the end of the day, your answers should bring clarity to your life. Often we make drama for ourselves by blaming parts in our life that we are actually happy with for things we aren’t happy with.
For example, you might get angry at someone telling you that you are too sensitive, but the reason you get angry is because it is something you don’t like about yourself and don’t want others to notice. Or you are always yelling at your spouse because he is doing everything wrong, but it is only because you’ve not been feeling yourself. Our moods greatly affect how gracefully we go through life and if you’re mostly in a bad mood, something might need changing. The question is what? Perspective.
To bring your life, your emotions, your personality and your decisions into perspective, you need to ask yourself the right questions. The questions are so broad and different for every situation, that it is impossible to cover it completely here. Yet if you have perspective on who you are and who you want to be, certain things will fall in place and daily tasks, such as making decisions, will come more naturally.
Don’t worry, I won’t tell you to meditate on these. Each person is unique and how you figure out the answers is all about you and your personal journey. If you want to do a complete search of who you are, however, I do recommend that you try different styles to find your answers, rather than using the one you think you love.
When answering the questions, answer as complete and honest as possible. Imagine this is the most important test of your life and if you don’t answer in essay-form every time, you might not make the grade. No pressure, though…
Usually these questions are best answer in a special moment shared with yourself only. You can take a walk, do yoga, jog, clean the house, have a bath or meditate. For some sitting quietly in a field will do the job, whereas for others writing out your thoughts in a cafe fits your style more. Experiment and see what brings out the best in you. You will know when one works better than another. One will feel right and will allow you to think better and feel more good emotions. Find your thing; it’s part of finding yourself after all.
Job related questions
If you’re still in school or studying, you can maybe change some of these questions to fit your particular situation, such as replacing it with “course” or “class”.
- Do you like your current job? If “yes” skip question 2-3 and answer this: What do you like about it? If you answered “no”, you need to answer 2 and 3.
- What would you change about your job? This can be the people, your salary, your position, etc.
- What can you do about your situation? Make this realistic and non-violent.
- Is this your dream job?
- What do you do in your free time?
- Is there a way to make your hobby your job? Would you like to?
Home related questions
- Are you someone to compromise to keep peace? Do you think it is bad or good to compromise?
- Do you feel like you are missing out on what you really want to be doing a lot of the time? For example you are going out for your friend’s sake, but you really want to be at home, or vise versa.
- Do you want to be part of something bigger, such as a charity, marathon or an event?
- What home issues are currently troubling you and how can you deal with it better than you already are?
Health related questions
- Are you happy with your eating habits?
- Are you healthy? If not, is there anything you can do to better your health? If you are, do you want to be healthier?
- What are your fitness goals?
- Are your fitness goals healthy, reachable and logical?
- Are there a fun activity you love doing, but you don’t? For example, you love jogging, but since you want to exercise like a fitness model, you can’t jog anymore. If this is the case, which is more important to you, enjoying the activity or achieving the other result?
Personality related questions
- Do you feel that you are keeping yourself back in any way?
- Is there anything you want to do or achieve, but never had the chance to or were too afraid to try?
- What do you really like about yourself?
- What do you really dislike about yourself?
- Can you change what you dislike about yourself?
- Are you perhaps putting too much time into yourself and materialistic wants?
- Do you sometimes act immature? Which of your actions are immature?
- What qualities would you like yourself to have?
- What inspires you?
- Where do your priorities really lie and is this where you want them to be?
- What bad and negative thoughts do you keep replaying in your mind?
- What is it that you believe you need to keep yourself happy and healthy mentally, physically and emotionally?
The last question is last because you need to understand yourself first before answering that one. You will have a much clearer and honest view of yourself after answering these questions. Let me know how your soul searching went and comment below if you have any questions. And of course…
Happy new year everyone!